Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
