Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
