Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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