You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
