I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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