She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
