I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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