And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
