Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
