No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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