Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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