we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
