I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
