i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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