I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
