I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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