I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
