We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
