You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
