I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks