Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

(818): View more from California

haha i love mojitos

(760): View more from California

ya and i hate cabbage

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(727): View more from Florida

Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(931): View more from Tennessee

and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

What bar did i puke in last night

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on

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(613): View more from Ontario

I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.

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(305): View more from Florida

NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY

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