Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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