omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
