I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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