Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
