Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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