just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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