u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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