hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize