there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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