it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
