Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
