i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
