called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's shark week go big or go home
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
