i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
