Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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