you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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