So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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