How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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