I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize