i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
