Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
