I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
