k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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