He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
