thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
