She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
