dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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