What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
