I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
