Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
