im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This baby is an asshole
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
