im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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