I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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