everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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