i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just pee around me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
