evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
