ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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