I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
