I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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